If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
