His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
