i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
