how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
