yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
