you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
