Fine. I'll sleep in my office
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
