Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Randomize
