I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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