also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
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