At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize