THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
