absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
