i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
you made out with another girl for some wings
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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