I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
