Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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