waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
