I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Houston, we have a squirter
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
