Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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