its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize