margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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