We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
