this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize