Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
