i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
