Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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