I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
