My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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