She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
