pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
