What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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