I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize