okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
if i died would you start the facebook group?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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