just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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