he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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