you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
