Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
