Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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