OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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