it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
NoShamevember. You game?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
