Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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