Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
where am i from again
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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