ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
She told me I should be a condom model.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
