just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize