So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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