redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
