So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i think my tv is drunk
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
