Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
