i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
