you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
This is my gift to your gina
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
