I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
