You don't have asthma, your pregnant
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
