My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Randomize
