yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
