I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize