No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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