i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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