margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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