I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
