well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
