Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
