I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
